Are you experiencing a real-estate induced identity crisis in your relationship?

Who are you? Are you the family that buys the fixer-upper smack dab in the middle of town that needs the rotted walls torn down and the bathrooms gutted? Are you the family that buys turn-key move-right-in house with the views of the mountains and no neighbors in sight?

house hunting

If you are in the market to buy a new home, the process of house hunting is likely bringing up a seemingly crazy amount of these “who are we?” identity questions.

At the outset, buying a home may seem exciting, but quickly it becomes emotionally exhausting. Many couples find the process of buying a home to be stressful — that makes sense — it’s one of your biggest financial investments. 

You try on a multitude of homes and experience a lot of waiting and disappointment. With each new listing you find, you envision and imagine and try on the potential life you’d live in that home. And when you find a house you like — by the time you convince yourself to make an offer — it’s sold. Or perhaps you worry that if your offer is accepted, you’ll have second thoughts. It’s no easy task to find a home that fits.

How can buying a home become a process that helps to mature your relationship?

It’s an opportunity to slow down (even in a fast paced real estate market) and tune into some of the big value based questions in this life you share together. To really look at and discern who you are, together. To sit down and ask yourselves and each other questions that really get to the heart of your shared values. Questions like:

  • What do you want from life?
  • What do you want your daily life to look like?
  • How do you dream your children’s childhood will unfold?
  • What do you need, and what can you live without?
  • Are you the family that lives large, or builds a small deliberate life?
  • What brings you comfort?
  • Do you and your partner want the same things?
  • How does the purchase of this house affect who you become?
  • How you see yourself? And how you want to be seen?
  • What sense of community are you seeking?
  • How much maintenance and upkeep are you up for?
  • What influence will this home have on your social life?
  • Do you both make decisions at the same pace?

If you find yourself struggling with the process, I invite you to connect with me. I'll help you hone this opportunity to grow closer together.