You expected parenthood would transform you. But you didn't expect just how much parenthood may disconnect you from your partner.
You feel stuck. You feel lost. You yearn to rekindle your relationship but at the same time it's complicated by all these other feelings that there simply isn't space for. You desperately want to grow together. Yet, you have no clue where to begin, where the energy will come from, or if it will be worth the effort.
You are afraid. Afraid of not being good enough, not loving enough, being open enough, pulling away too much, shutting down, isolating. And you are also afraid your partner is doing the same, leaving you feeling rejected, hurt and alone. You find yourselves in what seems to be an endless cycle of disconnection — and frankly, it sucks!
A staggering seventy-percent (yes, 70%, see the research yourself) of parenting couples experience a decline in relational satisfaction following the birth of their first child.
You need to cultivate safe spaces for your relationship to fail, rebuild and strengthen thanks to the wisdom that comes from being able to learn together with the people who matter most. It’s these opportunities for openness that make it possible for everyone to feel seen, understood and supported — even in the most vulnerable moments.
When you and your partner take responsibility for your own growth you in turn model the same for your children.
That’s the not-so-secret secret: sustaining happy relationships is a practice. It’s about being open to seeing your own patterns both in how you treat yourself and how you treat others. It helps you change your relationship patterns so that everyone feels seen, safe, and heard.
Modern parenting couples face unique challenges.
These modern challenges are the exploration of much of my work. Together, you and your partner can help one another heal your early wounds and, by extension, create a unique compass of connection that supports the growth of everyone in the family.
If your childhood experiences meant that growing up felt more like growing apart, then it may be hard to sink into what togetherness feels like. It might be hard to embrace and experience connection in your everyday relationships. After all, it wasn’t modeled to you from the beginning. (And before you start blaming your parents or anyone else, keep in mind, we are all doing the best we can.)
This intimate relationship —the very same one that triggers you to the core— constantly presents you with two choices; to grow together or apart.
My mission is to help you respark your togetherness by putting play and curiosity back at the core of the of your relationship, home and community — in a doable, meaningful, and sustainable way.
I'll teach you sustainable ways to infuse more intimacy, fun and ease into your relationship, family and into daily living. We will take time to understand your legacy and help you and your partner share your stories with one another. We will cultivate compassion and understanding in both of you for your own and one another’s story. We will take notice of what isn’t serving you and help you playfully craft the reality of your shared desire.
All of your relationships will become more sustainable, infusing you with a playful energy which flourishes when you feel safe and that you can cultivate within yourself when you feel vulnerable. We'll cultivate a mindset of play that equips you to learn and retain skills to deepen your satisfaction in relationships with your mate and your children so that relationships feel more sustainable. We will speak to, and honor, your legacies and your dreams while rooting you in the now with a sense of purpose and ease.
I invite you to contact me or schedule your free 15-minute phone consult so we can explore how counseling will help you find your way back to yourself and your relationship with more ease and less overwhelm.