You know this, of course.
Maybe you realized it when you found yourself on the sad end of yet another relationship that just fizzled out.
Maybe it was the millionth time you and your partner had that same stupid fight about the same stupid dishes.
Or maybe it was the day you realized that as much as you’d like to be living your boldest life, doing your biggest work, right now, fear is calling the shots.
You know that things can’t go on like this.
What you don’t know is that these are actually all iterations of the same problem.
Whether you’re struggling to find love, ready to get divorced over the dishes, or feeling small and stuck, the underlying issue is the same: disconnection.
Every relationship you have, starting with yourself and ranging all the way up to your relationship with the world, is built on connection. Get your connection with yourself right, and your relationships will inevitably benefit. Heal your relationships, and those happy, healthy relationships ripple out and change the world.
But the flip side is also true: disconnection at any point along the line will have a negative effect on all the others.
That’s where I come in.
I’m Rebecca Wong, LCSW-R, and I love nothing more than helping people get real and reconnected in their relationships.
All of my life, I’ve been fascinated by what it means to be human together.
This has driven me deep into the study of art, film and storytelling, experiential learning, relationships, sexuality, the human reproductive life cycle, the transmission of intergenerational trauma, parenthood, attachment, loss and human behavior, and performance. And the same drive has guided me to deepen my professional studies into Relational Life and Sex Therapy. My experiential teaching style draws from a range of leadership experiences over the past decades ranging from Wilderness Field Instructor to TMI Project Workshop Facilitator. (You can find all the nitty gritty deets here.)
I’m all about the no-bullshit approach: because let’s be honest, if good intentions, happy thoughts, and paint-by-numbers relationship strategies worked, we’d all have perfect relationships. We’re humans, working on relationships with other humans, in real life. And sometimes that’s messy. But it’s so worth it. Because you know what? The work you do on your relationship is just one part of a bigger picture.
After 15+ years of practice as a relationship therapist, I finally figured out the not-so-secret secret.
We care about two things in our lives: the ones we love and the legacy we leave.
Everything we are and everything we do comes back to our relationship with ourselves, which informs our relationships with the people around us and gives us the foundation to do the work we’re meant to do.
And it just so happens that when you address these things, you also end up feeling miles more confident in yourself, developing the insights and skills you need to address the problems in your relationships, and break through any professional blocks that are holding you back.
But this doesn’t just happen on its own. It takes Connectfulness.
Connectfulness® is a signature method I’ve developed to foster connection at all levels in your life.
After years of seeing clients work so hard to improve their ability to connect in one area of their life, only to see the other areas bring them right back to where they started, I decided to get to the heart of the matter, using a blend of evidence-based methodologies combined with my decades of experience, extensive training, and unique blend of empathy and (loving) ass kicking to create a practice that works for you, for your relationships, and for your work.
You start to embrace every aspect of your marvelous and messy humanity, and that gives you ease, confidence, and calm.
You begin to practice choosing how you want to respond in any given situation, instead of relating through reactions.
You learn to shift those fears and limiting beliefs, and turn them into fuel for your best work.
And love, intimacy, and legacy become your everyday practice — not just one offs you experience every once in a while.
It’s not about perfection. It’s about practice.
Look, you will never have the perfect relationship, totally unshakeable confidence in yourself 24/7/365, or the best possible mindset every second of your life. Things take us away from who we really are.
Life happens — but that’s the whole point.
The work isn’t in controlling those things, contingency planning our lives and our relationships into perfection. The work is in remembering, honoring, and coming back to ourselves.
It’s in learning how to do this that you stay in connection with who you really are. And when you start returning to relationship with the self, restoring your relationships with those around you, and rippling out to create healing relationships on a global scale.
So if you’re ready to get real about your relationships, lean in to your legacy, and come back into connection with yourself, let’s talk.
REBECCA’S NITTY GRITTY DEETS
New York State Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW-R) #076600
Masters in Social Work, New York University 2003
Bachelors in Fine Arts, Ithaca College 1997
Additional Post Graduate Training with Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés, The Center for Sexual and Relationship Therapy at Robert Wood Johnson Medical School under Sandra Leiblum, PhD, The Postpartum Stress Center under Karen Kleinman, Seleni Institute, The Gottman Institute, International Institute for Animal Assisted Play Therapy™, The American Board of Sports Psychology & CrossFit.
Graduate Fellowship at Memorial Sloan Kettering.