If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, you're in a tough spot. Discernment Counseling is a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at your options for your marriage.
It's a way of helping couples where one partner is “leaning out” of the relationship —and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help— and the other is “leaning in” —that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage.
I'll help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.
Discernment Counseling is short term, lasting 1-5 sessions with 3 possible outcomes...
...maintain the status quo
...six month commitment to couples therapy
Our goal is for you both to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future. Not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable.
I'll respect your reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health. I'll bring compassion and respect no matter for each of you, no matter how you feel about your marriage at the moment. No bad guys and good guys.
You come in as a couple but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with me. Why? Because you are starting out in different places.
I'm direct, and I'll emphasize each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.
Discernment Counseling is not Suited...
...when one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
...when one spouse is coercing the other to participate
...when there is danger of domestic violence