I invite you to join me in what I consider to be a really important discussion around ditching the fear of talking about intimacy.
The effects of not having a safe space to talk opening about intimacy and sexuality is one of the issues that brings many adult clients into my office. Twenty somethings who are working to redefine a healthy sense of sexuality so they can build safe secure relationships that they didn’t learn about in their childhoods; young parents who are sorting through what it feels like to love and be loved, trying hard not to push one another away as they raise their children and tend to their own child-selves. Empty-nesters who feel unfulfilled intimately. And I know that as much as we struggle to discuss this topic, it's not a struggle we hope our children will share.
Hi, my name is Rebecca Wong. I’m a Relationship Therapist based in New Paltz, New York. And I want to start a discussion with you today about intimacy, about relationships, about sexuality, and how it all defines who we are and how we have healthy relationships with one another.
Most of us learn about intimacy when we are children. We watch our parents in relationships. We watch how well they get along, or don’t, how comfortable they are with their own sexuality, with each other, with talking about difficult topics like menstruation, and the birds and the bees, and where babies come from. And having sex. And pleasure.
Pleasure is one of those things that we don’t talk about very much.
We learn about intimacy from the media and pornography and the movies. And we learn about it from our peers. And what ends up happening is that we don’t have a lot of safe places to talk about what it really can be.
So, how do we go about having healthy adult relationships? How do we go about teaching our children about having healthy adult relationships as they mature? We end up walking through relationships from this place of fear, instead of from a open, light, playful space where we just get to enjoy and explore how to connect with another human being because that’s really what this is all about.
So, I’d like to begin a discussion over at Connectfulness.com and I hope you’ll join me there. Take care.