It was a Thursday morning. I was in my sweaty yoga clothes, finishing up some business at my bank and heading home to walk the dog and get into my work.
It was one of those days —I was holding back tears. Emotion was welling up inside, but I was pushing through because so often that’s just what you do — or what I do. Chug through.
As I reflect now, I had been chugging for a bit too long. Not slowing down to listen within and feel all the feelings. Just chugging.
I teach my clients to pause and reflect and sit with their feelings — and yet here I was (again I’m seeing this only in retrospect) chugging through my feelings and keeping a tad too busy. The “too busy” allowed me to avoid tuning in.
I had lots of big stuff bubbling up inside, but rather than giving all my feelings their space, I was stuck in a loop of pushing those feelings aside.
As I was unlocking my car door, the universe conspired to help me become aware - painfully aware - of my feelings.
There was a bumblebee. It stung me.
It. Stung. My. Right. Middle. Finger.
No, really. I needed that. I needed the reminder that it’s OK to get angry as all hell and show it - sometimes. As my middle finger swelled into a unbendable extended position, this was my cue to let go and laugh. Essentially, I was forced to give the world a throbbing F*ck You.
It stung. But, man, it felt good too!
Instead of tying a string around my finger to remember to slow down and take care of what matters, the universe took a much more direct route.
Funny thing about pain. Sometimes experiencing pain —I’m talking really allowing ourselves to feel it rather than run from it, or push it aside, or chug through— can feel right.
Feeling the pain can inspire the movement you need to take to get unstuck.
It also reminded me to appreciate the irony and humor that lurks beneath all the stress and madness of typical modern life. The forced ‘F*ck You’ felt kinda grand —like my life needed a big old “screw that” reality check so I could check back in and meet my real priorities.
This rebellious middle finger liberated me to just be honest about the stuff I needed to address. I needed to release things or hold more space for them — no more chugging and ignoring and holding back tears.
The pain helped me to tune back into me. I was running on empty. I needed to slow down and refocus.
Sometimes the universe conspires to help you feel. When it does, let it.
All those feelings, as uncomfortable as they may be, are really steps towards healing. All that feeling, that's your humanity.
This is Connectfulness. Listening to the universe and responding by slowing down. Slowing down and letting yourself simply feel.
I’m taking my own advice and I’m heeding the message and I’m slowing the f*ck down!
When you need to slow the f*ck down... How do you know? And what do you do? Post below and share the love by sharing this post.