Stop Shoulding All Over Yourself

If you are like many of my clients you likely “should” yourself quite often. You know the self talk that begins with, “Oh, I should have…” or “I really should do…” those should's.

I’m gonna share a secret with you --as if you don’t already know-- “should” is dangerous word. It invites the voices that don’t belong in your head in. Stories and narratives that you have picked up along your life, but very likely aren’t comprised of your own thoughts and beliefs.

I get it, you want to be your best self. And somewhere in there the message of all the things you “should” do got mixed up with listening to yourself. With building your confidence in your own knowing and intuition. And mixed up with being able to discern the difference.

Here’s the medicine I share with my clients (and yes, myself too!).

Start listening for the “should”s. Notice where the show up. I find that it’s usually at the edges of your comfort zone, that place where you leap into personal and professional development. I call these growth edges. We all hear the “Nah, I shouldn’t jump off this cliff, it’s really…what I should do instead is...” dialogues within ourselves.  Sometimes they keep us safe, more often they hold us static.

When you slow down and start to notice these “should’s” they begin to provide you with ample reminders to pause and discern how YOU feel about this massive (or no biggie) boundary you are about to leap over.

Reclaim your own wisdom.

Your “should” speak is a reminder to pause. And it’s a powerful reminder at that. Every “should” you utter (internally or externally) is an invitation and reminder to pause. To notice the edge. To discern the leap you are standing at the edge of. And then, if you choose...leap with confidence.