005: Pleasure and the Body’s Wisdom with Cyndi Darnell

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Come back to the body — where the wisdom is.

Cyndi Darnell is an internationally renowned sex and relationship therapist. Her approach spans the clinical to the esoteric. She’s spearheading progressive sex & relationships seminars and workshops for adults and clinicians that deeply change people’s lives. Cyndi’s on a mission to eliminate stigma from discussions around sex, erotism and pleasure and changing our fears and transform it into freedom.

In this episode, Cyndi and I discuss:

  • How the sexual revolution missed the boat to discuss pleasure (especially womxn’s pleasure) that center on what each individual’s motivation is.

  • Permission to own your motivation.

  • Understanding the story that you’re holding onto that’s holding you back and causing you pain.

  • Cyndi shares her distinct definitions of love and sex (much like chocolate and red wine).

  • Sex changes over time and so we continue to learn about ourselves.

  • The more we experience ourselves the more we understand our motivations.

  • Internal motivation is vital, know why you want things to change.

  • Sex can be an opportunity to live a more visceral and colorful life.

  • Erotic pleasure relates back to early childhood before we had stigmas, values and judgements placed upon us and receive the smiling gaze of another.

  • Societal misconceptions: the body is inherently dangerous and the intellect is superior.

  • How we participate in keeping myths alive by cutting ourselves off from our own bodies.

  • How to reconnect the body through a daily practice of tuning into the body.

  • Masturbation as a way of integrating erotic pleasure into your life,

  • “Erotic Self Care”

  • Consent Culture and Sex Ed that goes beyond Abstinence, Reproduction and even Consent and includes Pleasure.

  • Tea and Consent video made an assumption that everyone likes tea: oversimplification of consent being yes vs no

  • The real question is ‘what kind of sex do you like?’ Cyndi says this is where the wheels come off for most people.

  • Making a practice of talking about sex and erotism.

  • Cyndi’s erotic awakening story.

  • Coming back to the body, that’s where the wisdom is.


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Find Cyndi Darnell online at www.cyndidarnell.com, on insta @cyndi_darnell, on twitter @cyndi_darnell, and on facebook

Purchase Cyndi’s video series: The Atlas of Erotic Anatomy and Arousal

Attend Cyndi’s Reclaiming the Sensual Body workshop, May 31 - Jun 02 2019 at Omega Institute

Root in with Rebecca’s Connectfulness® Collective for therapists in private practice at: connectfulness.com/collective

Learn more about Rebecca’s relationship therapy practice and intensive couples retreat experiences in NY at connectfulness.com

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