“I can’t adult today” makes for great social media fodder. But as with all humor, there’s a nugget of truth in there. How many models do we have for adulting that is healthy, balanced, secure and relational? Our culture has sold us quite a bill of goods. Independence and “rugged individualism” as an indication that we’ve become successful adults. Perfection or mastery as the ultimate goal. Self-care has become “treat yourself”. The pop psychology idea that having boundaries means you get to tell someone else what they can and can’t do. Even the idea that objective reality not only exists but should rule over all else. The truth is, none of these concepts are serving us very well because there is a whole lot of nuance and self-attunement missing. Terri Delaney is here to debunk all of these ideas. Disrupting our old programming won’t necessarily make life easier, but it does offer each of us more grace, a chance to heal, and the power to get out of our own way. This delicious conversation contains so much. Join us as we unpack what it really means to operate from our functional adult selves and what a work-in-progress we all are.

So often, many of us are still just waiting on our parents to show up for us in the way we needed them to when we were little. Sometimes we’re consciously aware of this, oftentimes we’re not. And it can continue long after our parents have passed, if we haven’t made the unconscious conscious and learned to reparent ourselves. Otherwise, we often unintentionally seek this fulfillment from our most intimate relationships. In this episode, I chat with fellow Certified Relational Life Therapist, Shane Birkel, who is able to take these big concepts and ground them in very clear language and context.

If you’re new or feeling resistance to the idea of Relational Life Therapy, this episode is a great point of entry. Tune in as Shane and I discuss families of origin, healthy versus toxic shame, the importance of compassion and grief work during conflict, and what healthy relationships actually look like.

In this episode, I chat with Gina Senarighi about what happens when we bring the observational self onboard and practice being in the awkward with our partners. We discuss perfectionism, creativity, pleasure and play, shifting from judgment to curiosity, and making the most of things versus going into a sulky place.