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In this episode, La Shanda Sugg and I talk about a generational healing, a topic that truly affects us all. And if there is one message we want you to walk away from this episode with, it’s that generational healing is possible!
Trauma can be caused, and passed down generation by generation, in many ways. Often we didn't even notice because it became woven into the fabric of who we think we are and what is our ”normal.” When something triggered a lack of safety — could be a physical, emotional, social, or moral trigger — we do what we’re wired to, avoid and disconnect from the pain, that's why we respond this way. But we have a choice. Generational healing resides in the power that comes from reshaping how we seeing ourselves and rightfully updating the stories and perspective that tells us what we can and cannot do and how we can exist in this world.
EPISODE NOTES:
We have to look at context from before we were born to understand who we've come to be, and who we are.
Our brain's top 3 survival priorities are to keep us alive, to keep us safe, and to help us avoid pain.
Changing beliefs, worldview, or behavior, is five steps down the line, today we begin with knowing that you have that option.
Generational trauma often shows up as what we term personality, and family traits, it’s the “just how I am, I've always been that way” parts of us.
Something triggered a lack of safety, that's why I am responding this way, but I have a choice.
You have a choice to go against survival instincts and instead use them to your advantage
We discuss DARTT, Development And Relational Trauma Therapy Intensives and how they "don't help you to go on to be a better person, they help you discover the person you were always meant to be” through a combination of education around the 5 core practices for living a healthy life, a Debriefing Process to get your story straight, Experiential Inner Child Work, and Standing In Our Truth/Feelings Reduction/Rightful Assignment of Responsibility.
We are constantly having current interactions with historical experiences, and the feelings that we are carrying aren't necessarily ours.
Sometimes we carry so much of other people's stuff that they don't feel what they need to feel in order to heal — rage, anger, fear, pain, sadness, shame — and we get to give it back. Not in anger or revenge, but in Justice.
"Who taught me that? Where did I learn that? And who is benefitting from me believing that about myself?"
The reason that your story is your story has a lot to do with the people who were your guardians, caretakers, and parents and how they raised you what was their lens while they were raising you.
Assign blame to the trauma not a person.
RESOURCES:
Find La Shanda online at thelaborsoflove.com
Learn more about Rebecca’s practice at connectfulness.com and explore her upcoming online offerings:
Essential Skills Relationship Bootcamp
October 24-25, 2020
This is an authorized presentation of Terry Real's Essential Skills Relationship Bootcamp. Open to individuals, couples and therapists. Through a combination of lecture, role-play, small group exercises and personal work, this workshop will help you to attain the relationships you want in your life.
Supporting Your Relational Self
Begins November 2020
6-week-online-course focuses on your relationship to Self, other intimate relations, and will help participants cultivate practices to sustain during these chaotic times filled with pandemic, uprising and beyond. Based on the teachings of Pia Mellody, we'll explore core issues that affect us all in relationships and the skills that will expand your Self & relational care practices.
This podcast is not a substitute for counseling with a licensed provider.
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