We’re excited to bring Juliane Taylor Shore, LPC, LMFT, SEP (AKA Jules) back to the podcast — last time she joined us, on episode 18, Jules introduced us to the brain science around how to stay relational when our protective systems are activated during times of chaos, like these. In this episode we’re talking about how your relationship can help you heal…and the brain science behind why and how it works. Expect lots of delicious neurobiological explanations around how healing occurs in the subcortical system.

Jules says that healing trauma means what was, is not what always will be. Think about it like this, you were born into this world with vast and varied needs: to be safe, heard, seen, soothed and to matter. Your early life experiences installed a kind of knowing around what to expect, how to react to increase wellbeing, increase safety, increase justice, or decrease suffering.

But in order to cultivate the recipe for this healing experience, you need to stay inside your unique "window of tolerance". In other words, how much sympathetic nervous system charge your system can tolerate before flipping into a state of dysregulation. When you’re scared, in a state, of warning, fight, flight or a collapse you’re already outside the window of tolerance. Your brain has to be safe enough, to be in the experience of whatever the emotional knowing is without flipping your lid.

Through cultivating a healing space within your relationship you can create a lasting corrective emotional experience through a process of memory reconsolidation, which is created in a magical moment when your limbic system detects a mismatch between what your experiencing in the present moment and the original experience.

This episode features a brief overview of a process which we suggest undertaking with professional guidance. Consider joining Jules, Rebecca, and our colleague Vickie Easa, for a RLT Essential Skills Relationship Bootcamp this October 24th & 25th 2020 — it’s open for both couples and individuals. Therapists can also attend either on their own or with a partner. Everyone is a participant to the degree they choose to be. Learn more and join us here!

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Juliane Taylor Shore, LPC, LMFT, SEP (AKA Jules) specializes in trauma recovery and relational health. She has worked with couples and adults in her private practice in Austin, TX since 2009. She teaches Interpersonal Neurobiology to her interns, at local universities, and privately. When she's not working, Jules spends time in the hill country and with her husband, daughter, and dog. Learn more about her clinical work at ipnbaustin.com.

Also be sure to visit Jules’ new site cleariskind.com to learn more about her interpersonal neurobiology teachings.

Dr. Dan Siegel's hand model of the brain

Bruce Perry's work on how to repair the natural rhythms of the brain

Bruce Ecker & Coherence Therapy

The Power of Discord: Why the Ups and Downs of Relationships Are the Secret to Building Intimacy, Resilience, and Trust by Ed Tronick and Claudia M. Gold

Rebecca’s practice and upcoming online offerings: connectfulness.com

Essential Skills Relationship Bootcamp
October 24-25, 2020
This is an authorized presentation of Terry Real's Essential Skills Relationship Bootcamp facilitated by Rebecca Wong, Victoria Easa, and Juliane Taylor Shore, Certified Relational Life Therapists. Open to individuals, couples and therapists. Through a combination of lecture, role-play, small group exercises and personal work, this workshop will help you to attain the relationships you want in your life.

Supporting Your Relational Self
Begins November 2020
6-week-online-course focuses on your relationship to Self, other intimate relations, and will help participants cultivate practices to sustain during these chaotic times filled with pandemic, uprising and beyond. Based on the teachings of Pia Mellody, we'll explore core issues that affect us all in relationships and the skills that will expand your Self & relational care practices.

This podcast is not a substitute for counseling with a licensed provider.

After listening, we invite you to deepen into the discussion with us on instagram and please support the show by sharing and reviewing the episode.