In this episode relationship therapist and host, Rebecca Wong, talked with Emily Nagoski, New York Times bestselling author Come As You Are: the surprising new science that will transform your sex life, and Burnout: the secret to unlocking the stress cycle (co-authored with her twin sister Amelia). It goes without saying that we’re all living in a deepened state of stress in this pandemic time. Emily helps us to understand how stress affects sex and learn more about what we can do to reclaim confidence and joy and transform our sex lives. You won’t want to miss this episode!

EPISODE NOTES:

When you’re stressed, pleasure diminishes and desire goes away.
Context allows your brain to feel fun, sexy, and safe
In the pandemic time, we’re all experiencing external stress. It's necessary to connect with others in the context of safety, and trust is extremely important. It's also okay not to want to have sex right now.
The two key characteristics of great long term sex are trust and prioritization. You need to trust your partners to be there for you. And you need to set aside time for connecting with your partner.
Why it helps not to take sex too seriously and embrace awkwardness.
Functional sex doesn't have to be part of extraordinary sex.
How letting go of expectations makes sex exceptional.
Why it matters that you actually like what you're doing.
Advice for partners who are having problems with expectations / differing sex drives: take a break from sex until there is no pressure to perform.
Trust what your body and sexuality want, stop doing things that don't feel good.
The powerful connection between letting go of grief and cultivating space for ecstasy.
How grief can connect us.

Resources:

Emily Nagoski’s mission in life is to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. Learn more about her work at: emilynagoski.com

Learn more about Rebecca’s connectfulness counseling practice, intensives, and our collective for therapists in private practice at connectfulness.com/work-with-me.

This episode is brought to you in partnership with Coronavirus Online Therapy, a volunteer-based, nonprofit organization developed to connect essential workers across the United States with free or low-cost online therapy during the coronavirus pandemic. Learn more at coronavirusonlinetherapy.org.

This podcast is not a substitute for counseling with a licensed provider.

Join our conversation on instagram & leave us a review on apple podcasts.