Paola Bailey, Psy.D. and I discuss the trajectory of how we went into and how we’re emerging from this year plus of global pandemic living and how it’s changed us, what we’ve learned that we’re consciously choosing to hold onto.

No matter where you are on your healing journey, this episode has much to offer about therapy and setting boundaries. It highlights a gentle way to approach long term healing and reinforces the value of discerning and setting boundaries that keep our selves safe and deepen our relationships.

Kelly McDaniel, LPC returns to the podcast (she joined us on episode 28: The Legacy of Chronic Loneliness) to explore the legacy of maternal deprivation. Her upcoming book, Mother Hunger, soothes the legacy of shame that accompanies being under-mothered. Mother Hunger addresses the constant search for love —nurturance, protection, and guidance— that may lead to a lifelong quest for what was missing. It’s not about critiquing how you were raised, rather it’s about learning how to heal and re-parent the hungry parts inside. Healing begins with knowing and naming what we are missing.

Our society is constructed to benefit White people whether they're conscious of it or not. The “norm” we’ve inherited centers an oppressive and privileging system when it comes to equity and power. And it plays out in relationships... In this episode, Francesca Maximé joins us to explore how interracial partners can embody anti-racism in their relationship. We explore how blind spots and racial misattunements affect interracial partnerships. And we discuss how to build a more equitable partnership.

Today’s guest, Dr. Rick Butts, cofounded the Healing Our Core Issues Institute (HOCII) with Jan Bergstrom, a past podcast guest. Rick and I discuss how the nature of the child —to be imperfect and human— is linked to how we humans come to know ourselves as we mature. We explore the woundings, teachings and adaptations that shape us in our formative years and become how we present in the world. And we examine the tasks of recovering our sense of self which comes when we can see and accept ourselves as human in all areas of our life.

We need relationship in order to survive. If you were raised without a secure base you likely learned early on to modify yourself. In this episode I am talking with Kelly McDaniel, LPC, NCC, CSAT, author and psychotherapist, about the complex trauma of chronic loneliness and how to heal from the toxic stress of disconnection.

So often in the journey of relational healing we discover parts of our Selves have been disowned — the parts of one's spirit which allow spontaneity and imperfection and cultivate abundance and joy. In this episode we explore the creative process as a way to bear witness to these parts of Self. Join us on a reclamation of trust in our deeper knowings and permission to reshape how we see ourselves and develop new cultures, together.

Sexuality is a part of who we are and we all deserve to learn about it in a way that is safe, comfortable, and judgement-free. Learning about positive sexuality is transformative for individuals and society overall. My guest, Elizabeth Greenblatt, strives to support young people develop the skills to navigate their sexuality in a healthy and fulfilling way and believes young people must be at the center of this work.

In this episode we talk about how your relationship can help you heal…and get into the geeky brain science behind why and how it works.

In this episode, La Shanda Sugg and I talk about a generational healing, a topic that truly affects us all. And if there is one message we want you to walk away from this episode with, it’s that generational healing is possible!

Shena Tubbs joins me to talk about how early trauma manifests in our adult relationships. Persistent love addiction/love avoidant adult relationships are often a recreation of early trauma, of seeking out people that would do the same, in hopes that it will turn out differently. Healing begins with getting the language and words around family trauma and what did/didn’t happen and then practicing the skill of loving yourself, which carries over into how you do relationships.

This episode highlights helpful ways to tend to our selves, reclaim power, and perhaps help us soothe our selves when we don’t have the power to change our situation.

Systemic racism is real and deeply rooted in society. When we center our society around whiteness but don’t discuss it we’re ignoring the problem of racism. Distancing ourselves from the problem of racism is to perpetuate it by allowing countless more injustices to be committed. When we become conscious we can take responsibility and change course. The opposite of being a racist is not being not-racist. The opposite of being racist is being antiracist.

In this episode relationship therapist and host, Rebecca Wong, talked with Emily Nagoski, New York Times bestselling author of Come As You Are & Burnout. It goes without saying that we’re all living in a deepened state of stress in this pandemic time. Emily helps us to understand how stress affects sex and learn more about what we can do to reclaim confidence and joy and transform our sex lives.

I'd like to introduce you to TMI Project, a nonprofit near and dear to my heart, that uses writing and true storytelling for social justice movement building, to ignite human connection and as a healing modality for personal transformation. I have gone through the workshop as a participant and became a trained facilitator of their methodology. I recently sat down with Eva Tenuto, the co-founder and executive director of TMI Project, to talk about how storytelling can enhance connection and resilience during times of social isolation.

Juliane Taylor Shore, LPC, LMFT, SEP (AKA Jules) joins me to discuss the impact of being quarantined at home, experiencing isolation, fear and grief — how these experiences work in tandem with our implicit memory systems —what the effect it all has on our relationships is and what we can do to build resilience.

Dr. Shideh Lennon, a clinical psychologist and Somatic Experiencing practitioner, joins us to discuss how to embody resilience during the current COVID-19 pandemic. We talk about simple practices that we can all use to bring ourselves back into our bodies. We’re still going to feel it all, but these tools may help increase our capacity by being our biggest best selves, so that we may bear and be with all that's arising.

Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen joins me to discuss how to avoid common pitfalls and achieve more secure relationships. We talk about how our need to connect is locked in a dance with our insecurities. How our defensive, protective strategies are activated when we feel insecure. Our guard goes up, we go behind a wall, or get critical of others and push them behind a wall. Blocking ourselves from having what we need the most, secure connection. And this is why we need to cultivate safe sacred space to deepen our awareness around how these adaptations to our insecurities inadvertently increase our pain and loneliness rather than cultivate security.

In this episode, one of my teachers, Jan Bergstrom, LMHC explains how the Self exists in relation to our own perceptions, our own thoughts, our own experiences, and our own souls. Jan is an expert in field of codependency, developmental and relational trauma in the lineage of Pia Mellody, a pioneer in treating childhood trauma.

I'm talking with Dr. Sonya Lott, a licensed psychologist in private practice with a specialization in complicated grief, and the host of the Reflections on Multicultural Competence podcast. She's on a mission to transform the narratives created about ourselves and others through the socialization process and our experiences with power, privilege, and marginalization based on our many intersecting cultural identities.

In part 2 of Unraveling The Survival Knot with Hedy Schleifer we’re diving even deeper into the process of being a host/visitor and opening ourselves to each others deepest truths, to our own deepest truths, on a level where we may not have exposed ourselves to that in the past. If you haven’t already tuned into part 1 of this series, we recommend you begin there.

Hedy Schleifer guides, counsels and teaches couples, partners, business associates, therapists and families about relational maturity. Hedy is the founder of the Encounter-centered Couples Transformation approach (EcCT), an integrative and interdisciplinary model that lies at the intersection of philosophy, clinical theory, organizational methodology, and relational neurobiology and memory reconsolidation.

In this month's episode I'm joined by Maya Luna, a Feminine Mystic and a Poet exploring the Tantric Path and Feminine Embodiment. We muse about our collective hunger for deep acceptance of who we really are. Our fear of letting go, of surrendering, and of softening into the moment. The deep feminine is the soulful nourishment of being we are craving. All our doing is an attempt to experience fulfillment. And the truth is that the feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction is available unconditionally in every moment no matter what.

Resmaa Menakem, healer, author, and trauma specialist, says that to address white-body supremacy we need to work with race or culture to cultivate a somatic abolitionist mindset or community. And part of that is gaining some reps to know what to pay attention to, some reps with each other’s nervous system so we can create a culture that knows what to pay attention to. Otherwise it’s just strategy.

In this episode, we’re contemplating how caring is what makes us fundamentally human and how we’re connected by suffering. I’m joined by John Eric Baugher, a scholar, writer and teacher exploring the transformative possibilities of contemplative end of life care. His book, Contemplative Caregiving offers encouragement to show up in the fullness of life.

In this episode we’re dispelling the myth that you can't and reframing HOW TO prepare parents for parenthood. I'm joined by Elly Taylor and Barb Buckner Suárez for a roundtable discussion around teaching parents skills to help them cycle through each transitional stage of life to come, impacting the legacy of future generations.

Recently, I sat down with Mark Wolynn and dove into the topic of inherited family trauma and the science behind epigenetics. Mark shares where our fears and stress triggers come from and what we can do about breaking the pattern for ourselves and loved ones.

This conversation with Dr. Stan Tatkin dives into the question everyone wants to know "why are relationships difficult?" and weaves between neuroscience, object relations, trauma and how to develop secure relationships

Internationally renowned sex and relationship therapist, Cyndi Darnell, invites us to come back to the body — where the wisdom is — in a conversation around sex, erotism and pleasure and transforming fears into freedom.

We’re talking with Mercedes Samudio about the ongoing struggle to sit with our own imperfections and managing the complexities of deepened awarenesses around parenting and to helping everyone feel validated and seen.

Dr. Stephen Snyder joined me to talk about keeping erotism simmering in long term relationships. Dr. Snyder shares how we can practice a-tuning ourselves to our long term partners through mindful moments of inspiration. 

Susan Piver, a renowned Buddhist teacher, joins me to talk about how to survive the inevitable discomfort of relationships and how she discovered what she’s called the Four Noble Truths of Love.

Every month I invite a fabulous, big-thinking guest to join me to talk about what it means to be human together. We’ll have deep conversations about the big stuff –– life, love, and legacy –– and how you can foster connection for yourself.